What truth and self-love can a single moment reveal?
Yesterday I experienced a “Lifeshock.”
A lifeshock is an unexpected, usually unwanted (!) event that reveals my mistaken thinking about the world and myself, leading to discovering greater truth.
I learned about lifeshocks from a great program called More to Life, which holds transformational weekend seminars.
Here are the steps I took; this is my version of the official process.
I often coach people on how to process lifeshocks, and I use these steps on myself regularly, especially when I feel stuck in a story.
I hope looking at this sequence helps you!
BACKSTORY: an older male neighbor I’d never chatted with before offered to look at a problem with my roof. He was about 4 meters away, we spoke over the garden wall; I asked if he had a face mask, and he said yes.
LIFESHOCK, or the exact moment of the trouble: He came to the door with his mask around his neck. I asked him to put it on, he got offended, and he left.
FEELINGS: Shame, embarrassment, fear, worry, doubt, righteousness, scorn, indignation, caution, concern. Heart pounding, shaking hands, pacing back and forth.
When I feel these feelings, I know that if I don’t process this lifeshock, I’ll keep feeling these feelings overwhelmingly every time something similar comes up.
MINDTALK: these are the mistaken thoughts my mind creates, and I get stuck in them, cycling them over and over again.
- He will tell people I’m unreasonable, wrong, rude, stupid, and over-reacting.
- This is a small town. I hate small towns! I never want to live in a small town! Small towns are oppressive and gossipy!
- I led him on; this is similar to a romantic exchange. I invited him to my house and then forbade him from coming in. This is all my fault. I should not have invited him. I’m not allowed to speak to an older man like this. I’m not allowed to say no. I owe him. I must be polite because he is helping me.
- I’m alone, I have no neighbours, I have no support, I’m isolated, I’m in danger.
TRUTH: Are any of those mindtalk points true? NOPE. Let’s check them, one by one. No, they are still not verifiably true.What is true, instead? I have excellent judgement. I know whom to trust.
SELF-LOVE: I love, honor, and respect myself. I am guided and supported, always, and in all ways. I can wear my head up. I keep my own counsel and I keep my own peace. I am lovable, I have other neighbors and friends I can ask for help. I can do this. I am doing this. And I love living in a small town, by the way!
Always remember, you are guided!